Emperor of an Empty Prison

It is, indeed, the 31st of December. I almost had decided to skip the posting for the day, and let it meander off into oblivion, but alas, my fingers felt the need to type something onto the computer screen. This day is infamous in America for new beginnings, a day for leaving the old self, things, habits behind, and also, a day for the youngish to have a wild night of debauchery and promiscuity. We surely have all been there, have we not?

The Past Ten Years

At this time last year, I was filing for divorce from the woman I had been married to for 4 1/2 years, and in a relationship with for over 6. A woman, that had brought my life a great deal of pain and heartache. In addition, I had just watched my parents divorce a couple weeks prior than the time I had filed. Things were uneasy and strange, but there was also an ounce of comfort in the decision made.

Two years ago and Three years ago, I was hosting a small, safe haven for teens at my house to come and have good Christian fun on New Year's Eve to keep them out of harm's way and away from the perils of life. I was teaching youth group at the church, and was a strong Christian leader.

Four and Five years ago, I was engaging in those perils with large groups of friends - enjoying the craziness of alcohol and sex intertwined.

Six and Seven years ago, it was a group of friends just chilling with Mountain Dew and Monty Python.

Eight and Nine years ago, it was bonfires at the pond, hotdogs, and friends counting down the minutes to the New Year.

And Ten years ago, I had the dream that a high school friend died in a drunk car crash, to only wake up and find out that it was true New Year's morning.

- - - - - - - - - -

Tonight, I am going to call it a short night. I am going to be the Emperor of my own domain. I am going to leave the captivating memories of the past slip away into a dilapidated, empty jail cell. I am going to start afresh with my intelligent, humorous, and beautiful woman that I have the pleasure to sleep next to every night. I am going to make my own future, leave the past in the past. I am going to finally embrace the inner ambition that has been stifled for so long. I am going to be successful. And, I am not going to wait for tomorrow to start...because I already began days ago.

Hope you all have a night that you can cherish in your memories. Be wise in how you choose to spend it and who you spend it with, just as you choose in every moment of your life.

Cheers.

Tribute to the Dancer of the Dawn

I was reading the newspaper this morning, which was making note of the many famous people that had passed away in this past year. And one, struck my eye. I think I remember hearing about him dying from Stage IV pancreatic cancer in September when he passed away. But truthfully, it had completely slipped my mind. So, when I was reading through the paper this morning, my first reaction was:

'Jesus shit! Patrick Swayze is dead!!'

Now, the paper was making some trivial comments about his popularity from the hit movie, Dirty Dancing, which I admit I watched about a month ago. The entire movie is really good, the last scene is the best...and I cannot really remember if I cried this time when I watched it or not. - - Hey, give me a break! My girlfriend is pregnant with my 4th kid, and any male that has been in a relationship with a girl that is pregnant with his child will know that the guy becomes entirely way too emotional during the pregnancy. I even cried while watching The Dark Knight the other day, and all I could think was 'seriously, who does this?'

But, dudes and female dudes, back to the Swayze. His best movie was definitely not Dirty Dancing, although that is my girl's personal favorite movie of all time. The best movie produced by ole' Patty has gotta be - - insert drum roll - - Red Dawn.

That is right! World War III in mid-America during the 1980s by the Soviet Union and Central American allies. American high school students in Colorado fighting off the invaders with guerrilla warfare tactics. This is undoubtedly the fantasy and schoolyard imaginative game for every young boy until they are nearly through high school, and Kevin Reynolds and John Milius put the dream right on the big screen. We have been waiting for the opportunity to live such a reality ever since its production!

So, in tribute to Patrick Swayze, who danced the dance - - but also taught us how to properly kill a deer, the importance of brotherly love, throw a grenade, leave the traitor to die, and shoot down the enemy forces - - and to all of you out there that speculate on what if my high school was attacked in the midst of English class by enemy troops falling from the sky with parachutes? - - I say to you, Go Wolverines!!!

Cheers.

Swirling Down a Clogged Drain

Time magazine has called the '00s "the Decade from Hell" and is wishing it a wonderful goodbye as if they expect the next decade to be any better. I did not realize that in a few days time, at the start of the next decade, everyone in America would suddenly change key and sing a different tune. But, that is nearly what they make it sound like. As if a new decade gives us a new chance; it makes as much sense as a New Year giving reason to set personal resolutions. Why doesn't anyone just make the change starting today? What in the whack does the day have to do with it?

Time magazine talks about the two market crashes, Hurricane Katrina, 9/11, and our continued “economic breakdown”. In my local paper, I read about citizens of this country claiming that we lost ground when our moral values had dropped, our prosperity decreased, we stopped being respectful, and we no longer were united with one another. I could probably agree with most of that, except I really want to argue that economic prosperity does not have much to do with happiness. However, due to my recent lacking in morals in the past decade, I am not sure I could debate it effectively. When my standard of living and survival relies on the assumption of pretty paper and etched metal, my voice is squandered.

I think we can agree that President Obama’s ‘Change’ campaign has not altered anything. I am just as much of a slave (if not more) to financial governance now, than I was before the President entered office. I think most have finally reached the point of understanding that the American system is flawed – now, if someone will just change the system. Let’s try anarchy for a while – leave everyone to their own devices – that has not been done in a while.

But – no more about political strife and the direction of a decaying country.

I played a bit of Wet last night. I think I was mistaken about the whole vampires thing – forgive my ignorance – it looks to be just gangsters. As gamespot.com reviews, it is “raucously entertaining”. Nothing too sexual to report on yet, but there is loads of slow motion fighting, jumps and flips, and the sword action is truly pleasurable. When blood and guts fly, I cannot help but get excited. However, I have to admit, I would be more pleased if it included vampires (or zombies).

Time for breakfast: bowl of Rice Krispies, sliced bananas, and Kraft marshmallows.

Cheers.

Frivolous Thoughts

I figure that it is time for me to return to the blogging socialization atmosphere of the internet. It has been nearly 3 years since I participated in said interactions, but I had previously ran several blogs for about 7 years prior. Hopefully, the wonderful bloggers of Google will have enough interest in whatever randomness I post that I will find some fulfillment of joy and happiness. Isn't that what life is about? Finding happiness?

On another note,I do not know about the other mid-20 folks in this modernized world, but I am personally excited that the Christmas season if finally over. Not to be a Scrooge, but the drama that circulates around the holiday season is relatively draining on my own time and energy. So many family Christmas get-together activities, dealing with the ex-wife, and buying plastic junk that I cannot afford. Alas, no more worries for another year.

In further news, I have also ventured into an area that places a bit of fear into my soul - almost as much as the phrase, "Honey, please hold my purse". I have recently decided to embark on a quest to write a fantasy romance novel. Yes, I am a man and I have perfectly swell interests in women, so there is no need to question my masculinity. But, after determining the marketplace for writing (and mixing two things I cherish dearly: fantasy literature and sex), I think this might be an exciting adventure. So, in preparation, I decided I needed to read one first. So, I have started on Meljean Brook's Demon Forged. Thus far, it has been intriguing to say the least; I am a bit disappointed in the lack of romance so far (on page 60). Wish me luck with that venture.

Well, I just bought the new Xbox game, Wet, for a price I did not want to pay. Something about vampires and gangsters, I think, with a touch of guns and swords. Plus, there is a semi-attractive woman on the front, and I could not help but notice it was rated M (for Men) - which means I am guaranteed some level of sexual content with adult language. Cannot really pass that up, can I? Oh, how those scam-artist advertisers delve deep into our psyche just for the extra buck. I have been hoodwinked once again.

Cheers.